Oops. Did I say that out loud?

I plan on catching my crush's attention one day, and I may have just found The Perfect Plan.

Of course, I have yet to find another crush to replace last year's crush, but at least I know what to do when he comes into my life.

I'm going to buy a big box of chocolates and offer some to him. And this is how our conversation's going to be like.

Maris: Hi!
Crush: Hey.
Maris: I have some chocolates. You want some? I laced them with a very potent love potion that will make you fall hopelessly in love with me. You'll never think of anyone else but me. Every breath you take will be in pain unless you can see me. You fall asleep and wake up every single time thinking of me. Come on, have some. You know you want to.
Crush: Uhm . . . I think my friend is calling me over there . . .  across the room . . . way way across . . .
*Crush is trying to discreetly get away*
Maris: You can run but you can't hide!
 
Isn't it perfect?

And people wonder why I don't have a boyfriend.

No, seriously. People do wonder why I don't have boyfriend.

--Hey, Myk, I stole your idea. I think my scenario is much much better.

My stalking skills.

I still have it.

:)

I don't get them. I never will, and I don't plan on trying. Sob stories about being in desperate need of money will never move me because nothing, and I mean nothing, will ever justify the killing of people just to forcibly take what they have with them.

I am so sick of hearing about poverty as their excuses. I really am. And I hope the rest of the world will too. Then maybe, we will do something about it. Maybe we will all stop standing by the sidelines and do nothing, while fervently wishing that they don't turn on us with their guns and knives.

It's a sick, sad world we live in. And sadly, we all contribute to it.

It was said best in Batman Begins when it was said, "Criminals thrive under the indulgence of society's understanding."

Because as long as we let them use poverty as an excuse, we are indulging them as they go about hurting more people.

The true victims of poverty are the victims of this murderous, unscrupulous bunch. And what is the rest of the world, including me, doing about it? About their predicaments? My heart breaks for them, the real victims of the vicious cycle of poverty.

They don't just suffer under the hands of the robbers, they also suffer under the ignorance of everyone else.

First my favorite, and only, pair of sunglasses.

And now, our one and only, the brightest star in my life (before Kas entered the picture), has gone and left me with this pain. This loss breaks me into a million little pieces, and I don't have the strength to try and pick them up and put them back together.

What's gone is gone. And, as Rhett Butler would say, "I was never one to patiently pick up broken fragments and glue them together and tell myself that the mended whole was as good as new. What is broken is broken--and I'd rather remember it as it was at its best than mend it and see the broken places as long as I lived."

I'm beyond heartbroken. I'm beyond recovery.

It's our digicam.

It won't work anymore.

*sob*

Oh, it will still take pictures but the LCD is beyond crap. All it shows is this steady white screen--how apt, white light.

I loved that bloody camera like no other. True, it was only a 2-megapixel camera, as opposed to the gazillion-megapixel camera flooding our markets, but even the people in Tripod will attest that I could take pictures with that camera as if it was some high-end thingamajig.

And even though I'm basically in the denial stage, I'm still thinking it would be repaired, I know deep inside that replacing the LCD will cost as much as buying a new one. And as much I would want to resurrect it, it would be beyond impractical.

We've been through so much together. Countless vanity shots taken in my room, in front of the hallway mirror, in front of the bathroom mirror, in front of the bedroom mirror, in front of several restroom mirrors. It saved me from boredom from boring lectures. It even took a picture of crush, even though I stupidly deleted it.  

It was with me, and now it will never be. 

I will miss you dearly.Really really dearly. There is a void in my heart that can never be filled.

Well, except for a DSLR.


******
If anyone feels like locking me up in some sanitarium for writing what is basically a love letter for a lost digicam, please note that I regularly write love letters to all my electronic gadgets. Except for my phone. My phone is crap.

"Criminals thrive under the indulgence of society's understanding."

Couldn't have said it any better myself.

I am this close to being banned from even talking about the upcoming beauty pageants for our barangay. (FYI: Fiesta's next month. Lechon time! Haha.)

I keep pestering my dad about it, from complaining that my sister vowed to sit as far away from me as possible because I tend to be extremely critical of the contestants' English to offering to write their answers and just letting them memorize it.

He says I should let it be. It's a barangay-level beauty pageant, what kind of English do I expect?

I told him resolutely, "Why, the good kind, of course."

Amidst his protests, I powered on, "Just because it's a barangay-level pageant doesn't mean that we stoop so low. If we must aspire to speak English then we should speak it well. We should not excuse ourselves from making mistakes just because it's confined to the barangay.

"So we might not be the Miss Universe or whatnot. That does not excuse bad grammar and even worse pronunciation. If we concede that we can't speak English properly then why not hold the whole pageant in bisaya and be done with it? It's our dialect, isn't it? Bloody hell, let's use it.

"That very ignorant attitude is the reason why our English-speaking skills are going down the drain. We complain that Filipinos can't speak proper English. That's because we let them!"

Yeah, I think I'm banned from the pageant now.

This is not just because I work as a copy editor now and that I spend more than half my day correcting other people's English. No one really wanted me in these beauty pageants even when I was still a student.

I don't think I'm being elitist even though, in all modesty, I do have a good grasp of the English language, and yeah, I'm proud of it. There will always be a part of me that wishes I could be half as decent in conversing in Filipino. I am not proud that I suck at our own national language.

But I digress.

My point is, this kind of tolerance is dangerous. We let it be because why? Because it's a barangay-level pageant? Because there are no talent scouts in the audience? Because participation does not mean an invitation to PBB or something? Because it isn't really Miss Universe anyway.

This is frustrating.

We aim to impress in these pageants, not depress. I seriously do not want to go to these things simply because I want to criticize bad English--although it can be fun, haha. This whole mentality is just another way of using our unfortunate circumstances as excuses for bad behavior.

We can't help but speak bad English because we're just a barrio. We're a just a few notches higher than the muggers who can't help but brandish a gun because of bad economy.

(p.s. Don't even get me started about the sexism. Haha.)

It was so good. The best Batman movie so far. And I've seen them all from Michael Keaton to Val Kilmer to George Clooney.

I never watched Batman Begins, mostly because all the other movies were not exactly something I want to watch beyond HBO and Cinemax. I didn't want to spend a hundred pesos for another Batman movie. In fact, I kept saying, "Batman begins? God, when will it be Batman ends?" So I never knew how good Christian Bale was...

Until now.

Review coming up.

I totally recommend it. It was worth the trouble I got into because we watched the last full show and it ended around half past eleven already and I arrived home around one in the morning.

Whoops.

Haha.

Two of my very best friends are now registered nurses. They passed the board exams; I think that means, one exam down, several more to go? Haha.

But I love these two to bits so I'm really happy for them.


I'm so happy. I feel like I passed the board with them. Hahaha.

Oh man, about two weeks have passed. And I have so many things to send to Room 101.

But, since this is really something I totally hate, then my desire to place this in Room 101 is double intensified.

Please lock up and rain upon unmentionable suffering to:

Every time I hear about people being mugged, my blood pressure just surges. I am telling you that nothing will ever justify this. Nothing.

Poverty be damned. So what? If I'm destitute then I practically have the license to terrorize people for their own money? For their own hard-earned money? Because, the kicker is, most of the victims of the muggers are the ones who actually did earned their money honestly.

Assholes, every single gun-totting one of them.

It's one thing to terrorize people with their gun in exchange for their cellphone, wallet, and whatnots, but to kill them? To actually take a life for several thousand pesos? Just like that? Bang, it's over.

And please, please, send along those people who say, "Oh, you shouldn't show your cellphone/wallet/jewelry so conspicuously." No one deserves to be mugged, okay? If you just want to be all hoity-toity to someone who has been traumatized, keep your damn mouth shut.

I speak from experience because when I got mugged a couple years ago, this one person in the jeepney had the gall to tell me, "Kaw man gud, gi.gawas man nimo imo cellphone." Okay, it was hindsight and it was careless, but fuck her. In between gasps and sobs, I managed to snap at her. Although I doubt I was able to deliver the venom in my words that I wanted to considering that I was shivering down the tips of my toes and barely breathing.

I wish upon these muggers the most painful of deaths. Along with the murderers and rapists.

No matter how I try, and I don't really try very hard, I can never find any sympathies for these people.

Poverty is a reality, an unfortuonate circumstance that nobody really deserves to suffer through.

But I judge those who use their unfortunate circumstances as an excuse to ruin the lives of others.

And that someone is me.

More details in a couple of days.

I also missed Room 101 this week. It was going to be muggers. I really don't like them. I wish they would spontaneously combust in the most painful way possible. Poverty is no justification for terrorizing people for their own means.

I would so enjoy blogging more about why they deserve to go to Room 101. But in a while.

Just checking in on net land. :D

Rafael Nadal won the Wimbledon Men Singles Finals.

OMG!

And why am I even bothering with this? It's tennis. I have yet to find someone other than my dad that I can talk to about this.

But really, come on, Nadal won against Federer on a grass court.

More meaningful commentary later. But here's the thing. Federer has yet to win a Grand Slam this year (poor guy), and although Nadal's been undefeated in Roland Garros for four years now, Federer's been undefeated everywhere else for five or so years now. He (Federer) has twelve grand slams for crying out loud, all singles titles. Nadal hasn't been able to defeat Federer on any other court other than clay.

Until now.

Man, too bad I haven't been able to watch the last set yet, which, apparently, was an incredible, dramatic set. See, Nadal won the first two sets, then Federer won the next two, so the fifth set is the set to see.

Star Sports! Replay! Replay! Replay!

Nadal is turning out to be quite a threat to Federer's dominance. Everyone knows he is definitely the King of Clay, but clay and grass courts are absolutely different playing surfaces. And grass courts are even tougher because it tends to be even more slippery, and you never play on the same surface twice because the court changes with every match. It's grass.

Star Sports was doing this short feature on Federer's footwork, and I never realized until now just how graceful Federer really is. And the way he just moves on the court as if he's flying is truly something to see. There's is no question as to why he has been World No. 1 for 231 consecutive weeks.

And Nadal's tenacity is just incredible, the way he goes after the ball no matter what. He even hit a shot between his legs. True, the point went to Federer anyway, but still, between the legs.

They are also incredibly fast players. I swear, sometimes, they're a blur on the court.

It's always fun to watch No. 1 and No. 2 play against each other.

US Open is up next, will it be another "You Again?" match between these two legends in the making? How about the Olympics? 

Come on. Someone out there is bound to know what I'm talking about. Right?

God bless three-day weekends.

Thanks to the Daily Meme, which led me to Day Zero, which is where I got this idea.

The objective of this is to accomplish all 101 goals listed in 1001 days. I've started today, which means my I have to accomplish everything in this list on April 3, 2011.

Of course, I have to accomplish the first two things on the list before the week ends. Haha.

This is my new internet project, that's actually going to be beneficial for me outside the online world.

See how I fare for the next 1001 days...

For bored, and very bored.

I don't know about you, but memes are fun, and relaxing.

And it's called memes (pronounced meems), and not surveys. Semantics. :D

Room 101 Internet meme is based on this British television show where you send the things that you hate to Room 101, which is supposed to be a torture chamber, so that the things that you hate can suffer.

Considering I'm generally an angry (*cough*understatement*cough) person, this is perfect for me. A category for all things I hate. Of course, in deference to my "loyal blog readers," this is going to be a once-a-week thing. Every Friday or Saturday, I will post about the thing that I hate during the week, things that I believe should be sent to Room 101. 

This is going to be so much. For me at least. One more way for me to spread the joy.

(I got this Room 101 meme from here.)

And for more internet memes, check out The Daily Meme.

First up in this will be STUPID RADIO COMMENTATORS



I hate them with more than usual vengeance. I didn't hate them before, I never even thought about them. But since I got stuck listening to one stupid know-it-all radio commentator while in a taxi ride home, I'm beginning to believe he should be the first one in my very own Room 101. I have know idea who he is exactly, which is good for him, that way I don't curse anyone with a name.

I hate how he interjects every line with their radio jingle (or some sort of stupid jingle), I hate how he paraphrased in Cebuano what Noli de Castro said on TV a mere minutes ago and did not even have the courtesy to quote who it was from, so it was as if the statement was from him and not from the country's vice president. And then he added a few more words to his statement, which made what generally would have been a short statement into a long unnecessary commentary.

And because, as one too many people have pointed out to me, I'm too kind (I have a social conscience, sue me), I couldn't bring myself to ask the taxi driver to switch stations, or turn it off altogether, so I had to contend with it for the whole twenty minutes that it took for me to get home.

And the radio commentator always ended or started his statements with mga kapuso. Okay, so I'm more of an ABS-CBN viewer than a GMA one, but I never liked how these two stations had to lump the Filipino viewers into kapamilyas and kapusos. Shows from both stations generally suck. So there.

Whoever you are, stupid know-it-all radio commentator, I hope you rot in Room 101.

Apparently, registration for voting can only happen when it's an election year, or something like that.

Are. You. Kidding. Me?!

The next elections will be on 2010. So what is COMELEC doing until then? Twiddle their fuckin' thumbs! Cut the bloody ballots using scissors? What is it that they're doing from now until then that is so important that no one can register?

What? No one turns eighteen until 2010 so no one can register until then?

This has got to be the most ridiculous thing our government can do.

Okay, so maybe the next most ridiculous thing, next to PAGASA.

I guess uTorrent has missed downloading torrents since the last time I did so was around early May. Back then, I would be lucky if we reach a connection of 100 kpbs. Now it's overachieving.

And for the past 15 minutes, it's been averaging at 130 kpbs.

It even reached 213!

Wow, this makes me truly happy. And the geek in me is about ready to die. Thank you Gods of broadband connection!

:D

I wish.

Just when I thought that I've seen and heard the most ridiculous thing about Filipinos, something else happens and I have this urge to burn every single paper that documents my citizenship as "Filipino."

ONE: PAGASA's reaction to Sulpicio Lines suing PAGASA.

Actually, in fairness to Sulpicio, they have a point in suing PAGASA. Once and for all, our so-called weather bureau should be made to face the error of their ways. Because I agree (while still maintaining that Sulpicio is still, also, responsible) that our loser of a weather bureau is also ultimately responsible for the tragedy of MV Princess of the Stars.

And I really want to sock every single person, in this case it was this radio commentator, who defends PAGASA by saying "you can't predict the weather" and "the winds will always change their course" or that "nature yada yada."

Here are a couple of arguments to that. One, I guess we will all agree that the weather has a huge impact on our everyday lives? That one little change of the clouds, humidity, winds, temperature will affect us greatly? Then more care should be done with weather forecasts. Haven't we already learned from so many past "sudden" shifts in weather that there is more than one way that the storm will hit. You can't just say, "It will pass by this province" and when it turns out wrong and actually hits a province in the other direction, you'll just shrug and say, "We can't predict the weather."

To be honest, I wouldn't be so pissed about this if it wasn't for PAGASA's reaction to the suit against them.

PAGASA's take: "Hello?"

That's it. They're not even taking it seriously. However this has turned out, their negligence is also partly responsible for the loss of lives, lives that shouldn't have been lost in the first place.

This is beyong irresponsible and unprofessional. I can actually let the whole "The weather is very unpredictable thing" go (truth be told, the weather is really unpredictable) if only they won't resort to such childish retorts on national television.

TWO: Sulpicio saying they were not aware that endosulfan is toxic.

Here's the thing. I didn't know endosulfan is toxic until recently either. But let me tell you, if someone presents ten thousand liters of a chemical to be used as a pesticide, I'd have been a little more alert than usual.

And I would have called it common sense.

You know, people can't keep pleading ignorance in defense of their innocence and get away with it all. That's just plain unfair to people who actually use their brains.

THREE: Someone tells someone in our family that we're lucky that our uncle's body has been found and here in Cebu, even though NBI won't release it yet because the relation has to be established. (My uncle's got no dental records and somehow, his fingerprints are not on record. It's DNA testing for us now.)

Nothing, and I mean nothing, about this situation is lucky. More than anything else, we'd rather there was never a need for any of this.     


I can't believe I'm somehow connected to these people by virtue of my nationality.

P.S. I hate know-it-all radio commentators. I wish their mics would short-circuit and they get electrocuted.

This post needs a disclaimer, so here it is: I do not have anything against nursing students. Both my best friends have nursing degrees; both of them, one from elementary and one from high school. My favorite cousin also has a nursing degree. She calls herself an RN without the R. I have the deepest respect for nursing students and the hours they keep because I could never survive those long hours of hospital duty, not to mention the constant exposure to medical maladies. My own blood scares me.

I also respect the profession itself. I'm sure doctors won't be half as effective without nurses, and again, long hours in the hospital. And with the hospital horror stories to boot.

Okay, disclaimer clear enough? Then here goes.

Last Saturday, my sister is on a jeepney bound for Talamban, and it is full. Of course, the questionable spatial intelligence of the jeepney drivers and/or conductors comes into play, and so they insist on letting a student ride, even though it's full. So she sits on the extension bench.

But ladies and gentlement, this is not just any ordinary college student. It's a nursing student.

The passengers are indignant. "Let this student sit properly, she's a nursing student. Her white uniform will be dirtied. Come on, people, move and give way so this student can sit.

There's a fish vendor with her pail of fish to sell and so they separate the nursing student and the fish vendor, God forbid her pristine white uniform shall stink.

And so they scoot and scoot until she's comfortable.

I'm sure they feel that they have fulfilled their patriotic duty. She is a nursing student after all. Bring out the trumpets, sound the drums, make way and behold. I thank you, bow.

After my sister finished narrating that heartwarming story, I did my very best, and thankfully succeeded, in quelling the sudden and surging need to scream at the nameless passengers. I took deep breaths and proceeded to eat the KFC chicken my mother brought home from the mall. The gravy now tasted a little differently with the bitterness in my mouth, but KFC is KFC, right?

Okay, ranting time.

Nursing, my dear unenlightened jeepney passengers, is NOT the only college course in the Philippines, or in the world, nor is it the only one that pays. Your success in life is not determined by what course you took in college. It is determined by the amount of hard work (with a little bit of luck) that you invest toward your future.

So damn it. When will this ever stop!

Back when I was in college (haha, three months ago!), it pissed me to end at how courses in college are divided into "nursing" and "not nursing." The basic assumption that your being a college student means you're taking up nursing always angered and saddened me all in one blow.

"College student? What course? Nursing?"

"No."

"Ah, then what?"

"Psychology."

"Mag.SPED ka noh para makagawas?"

And that too, the basic assumption that I'm in for my college degree because I want to go abroad. Of course I want to go abroad, but maybe, just maybe, I took this course because I want to? Did that ever cross their mind?

Just in case I've ruffled some feathers by this time, I think it's time to remind people to reread my disclaimer. Again. :)

The thing is, I'm sure nursing is a good course. And I appreciate the hope that it offers for those who want to go far in their life. But nursing students aren't the only ones with ambitions. Nursing students aren't the only ones with dreams. Nursing students aren't the only ones who are forced to go with no sleep just so they can be one step closer to their degree, and in effect, their dreams of a brighter future. Nursing students are not the only ones who need a comfortable seat in the jeepney. And by god, nursing students aren't the only ones who are in college.

I'd like a little respect for the other courses here. Please!

Oh, and in case I'm still ruffling some feathers here, I don't know what to do with you anymore. Bahala na mu.

And one more thing, nursing is not the easiest way to go abroad. True, there are a lot more opportunities for nursing graduates to go abroad, but I'm sure they will agree that it's not the easiest road to take either.

You want an easy way to get a visa? Log on to those matchmaking sites and create an account. Say hi to beer-belly hairy Joe for me. 

(Man, I'm so going to be killed in my sleep for this post.)

Over the weekend, a Sulpicio Lines vessel sank off the coast of Romblon. Now is the not the time to search among the crowd and place blame. Now is the time to pray. And hope for the best. And wish for strength for those struggling for survival in the middle of the raging sea, and strength for those at home, waiting for news, any news at all.

And I pray that one of the survivors will be my uncle.

My uncle may or may not be a good man, by most standards, but whatever his faults and shortcomings, he does not deserve to go this way, in the midst of the sea, alone and helpless.

I pray for the survivors, for the victims, and for the once they leave behind.

And I thank those who will do the same.